Adolescence

It has always been considered the most complicated phase. It is the moment of greatest claim for freedom and autonomy by girls and boys.

Both from a movement perspective. There is a need to detach from parental accompaniment. The autonomy of travel is sought. Whether it is simply the journey from home to school or the first experience with friends in another city. And from an emotional point of view. It is the search for oneself without interference from the family.

In fact, conflict is an essential part of the need to strengthen personality. There is almost a need to distance oneself in order to affirm oneself. Mood swings, euphoria, and sadness are feelings that change and alternate continuously. The body has changed, sexual attention grows. And it is in this age range that the first relationships are recorded.

The desire for independence and detachment from the family nucleus in some cases can lead to no longer turning to the points of reference recognized until that moment and to seeking many answers to their questions of change, especially hormonal ones, from peers, friends, or strangers on the web. This naturally also applies to those who have never had the possibility or freedom in their family context to face the sexual dimension (it is still a taboo in many families to relate to their sons and daughters on the subject of sexuality).

Not to mention the violent domestic contexts in which many young people find themselves living (and to which we will dedicate a specific space addressed to all age groups). Within this disorientation, school plays a fundamental role because it supports both young people and families. It becomes the bearer of authoritative knowledge that can respond to the many curiosities and concerns of young people and support families who must accompany them on this path of maturation.

The news is full of violent sexual acts, including gang rapes, which often have a performative component to make them known externally. It’s no coincidence that the web and cell phones are full of videos proving that the act took place. We call it revenge porn, but in reality, it has many subcategories. The girls who are victims of this system approach it in different ways. Either they are afraid, which prevents them from experiencing that sexual urge, or they decide to go through it without much awareness.

Desire, in fact, often does not correspond to an element of sexual satisfaction. They do not derive any pleasure from the act. They endure it thinking that it must be that way or, worse, they endure it with pain until they can no longer take it. Alongside this distorted exploration, there is naturally also violence, rape. It can start from what is considered a loving relationship and escalate into a constant dimension of violence. Agitated and often documented. Because one enters and cannot get out of this mechanism of oppression.

This is the reason for the educational intervention that aims to prevent this condition.

Both towards those who commit the violence and those who suffer it. Girls at this age are subject to the first accusations about their behavior that will lead to violence as a consequence. It is the first concrete victimization to which they will apparently have to get used over time. Let it be clear, attempts also occur with little girls: the accusation of adultification and thus being a sexual object affects even their little bodies. But adolescent girls, even if minors, fully bear the stigma of having provoked or triggered that violent act or that rape.

“I am on video, therefore I exist.” This seems to be the principle by which the vast majority of adolescents in Italy move but – we could say – in all digitalized countries worldwide. There is no part of their lives that is not documented, or rather, there is no moment in their lives when they are not concerned with proving their existence through a video to post online.

If this applies to what you wear, what you eat, what you listen to and dance to, it can also apply to what you do sexually. The virtual and the real get confused. The body seems to have no weight. The camera of a cell phone does not seem to be a threat but only a tool for asserting existence on one hand and self-gratification on the other. Being able to replicate what is on the web makes you part of a community, small or large as it may be. But while for boys this seems to have no consequences, for girls it is devastating. Discovering their own body is, for adolescent girls, part of a conscious and unconscious need for exhibitionism necessary to please and affirm the “passage” to being women and no longer children.

Hence, endless photo books in sexy poses with continuous outfit changes, individual and group photos. Let it be clear: there is nothing wrong with this, but unfortunately, photos published online are available to everyone and this can lead to girls being targeted by men much older than them or bullied by their peers. Even more dangerous for girls is the moment when they agree to be filmed during a sexual act. The spread of this material generates an endless spiral of hatred.

The judgment against a girl who has sex with another boy is ruthless, unleashing the lowest instincts of the web. Today, all this has a name: revenge porn. But this definition is not enough to understand the level of persecution and psychological demolition inflicted on the victim in question. The picture is worrying and, if possible, it dramatically worsened during the pandemic. The use of social media among adolescents has doubled.